Two Things I Learned From Aunt Bee

Love takes everything that comes without giving up.

 

Like many Americans, I grew up watching the Andy Griffith Show.

Who didn’t enjoy watching the antics of Barney Fife?

 

 

The Andy Griffith Show depicted a time when life was simple and uncomplicated. An era before sex, graphic violence and reality shows became the norm for modern TV. 

Recently, while watching an episode of the Andy Griffith Show on TV Land, I realized Encore Parents (those who serve double duty as both parent and grandparent) could learn a lot from Aunt Bee’s character.

I loved Aunt Bee with her toothy grin and easygoing nature. She was a woman of grace, compassion, love, humor, and much more.

 

 

Here are my top two favorite characteristics of Aunt Bee:

1.      Aunt Bee didn’t give up.

Because Sheriff Taylor was widowed, she became little Opie’s surrogate mother and lovingly devoted her later years in life to taking care of Andy and his son.

I’m sure there were plenty of days when laundry and dishes piled high and household chores seemed endless. And let’s not forget she cooked three home cooked meals a day! I mean, who does that anymore? Although she appeared frazzled at times, she persevered. She didn’t give up.

 

 

Also Aunt Bee was no spring chicken, and neither am I.

I have days. You know those aggravating ones when you’re already exhausted (because you’re not a spring chicken anymore) and the unexpected pops up.  

For instance, the day our dryer broke. It had been on its last leg for months.

A new dryer wasn’t in the budget.

The day it finally died was the worst. There were at least four loads of towels and three loads of clothes waiting to be washed and dried.

 

 

And boy, can pre-teen girls generate a mountain of dirty laundry in one day!

            Yet, love doesn’t give up. It goes to the extreme, even if it means washing seven loads of dirty clothes at home, and then dragging 200 pounds of wet laundry to dry at the laundromat.  

What would Aunt Bee do? Well, first of all, she didn’t have a dryer. She had a clothes line. Secondly, I’m sure while Aunt Bee hung little Opie’s and Sheriff Taylor’s clothes on the clothes line, she hummed a happy song and contemplated dinner. (Yeah, that’s not me!)

However…

Love does not give up.

2.      Aunt Bee was altruistic.

Today, we live in a culture of narcissism. 

Jean M. Twenge and W. Keith Campbell’s book, The Narcissism Epidemic: Living in the Age of Entitlement, details how narcissism has profoundly impacted our culture.

According to Twenge and Campbell, today’s parenting style has fueled this problem. Moms and Dads want to be their kids BFF’s instead of their parents. It’s resulted in a culture of insatiable, “me” first, spoiled adults, lacking in both responsibility and a hard work ethic.

Conversely, Aunt Bee led a tireless, selfless, yet, contented life, by putting others’ needs before her own.

I know Aunt Bee was a fictional character and lived in the fictional town of Mayberry; yet, she exemplified many of the LOVE characteristics described in the book of Corinthians. Characteristics every caregiver should embody to succeed.

 Love does not give up. Love is kind. Love does not put itself up as being important. Love has no pride. Love does not do the wrong thing. Love never thinks of itself. Love does not get angry. Love does not remember the suffering that comes from being hurt by someone. Love takes everything that comes without giving up. Love keeps on in all things.  1 Corinthians 13:4-7(NLV)

 

I want to hear from you!

What do you think motivated Aunt Bee?

Love?

 

P.S. If you liked this post, please be sure and click on the Top Mommy Approved Blog Icon located on the top right hand side of my blog. Thank you!

-Beth

Detours: Divine Delays?

The Lord will fulfill his purpose for me;
    your steadfast love, O Lord, endures forever.
    Do not forsake the work of your hands.

Psalm 138:8 (NRSV)



 

Growing up, we took lots of road trips.

We had cousins to visit who lived in Georgia, Florida, and sprinkled throughout North Carolina.  

 

There were three things we knew before taking any road trip. 

 

Photo courtesy of raleighhappeningmag.com

1.       Never travel on Sunday. If you did, you’d more than likely run out of gas. Gas stations were not only few and far between, but also closed on Sundays. These were the days when folks went to church, came home, ate a big meal, then sat on their front porch rockers and relaxed. 



 

2.       Never leave home without a roadmap. Since there were no GPS devices to rely on, Mom was the navigator and Dad drove. (Every man needs a navigator on a road trip, and you know why!) Mom carefully plotted a course to our destination and marked it with a large X on the map. Then when the inevitable, “Are we there yet?” rang from the backseat of our Chevy station wagon, she’d open the map and demonstrate how much further we had to travel. (This usually occurred in five minute intervals.)    

 



 3.   Detours are inevitable. Every road trip consisted of at least one detour, a little hiccup on Mom’s carefully plotted course. There’d be that sign leading us on some alternate route through the middle of no-where, throwing us off course, and knocking an hour off our arrival time (This drove Dad nuts!). Despite the inconvenience, we eventually arrived to our destination.   

I could insert a fourth one here concerning how restrooms were few and far between too, and the necessity to carry a port-a-potty: the mayonnaise jar. But I’ll spare you the details.

Do you feel life leading you down some lonesome detour?

 

Be encouraged my friend, because…  

Photo by Gary

 

1.       You can travel on Sunday. There are plenty of gas stations. God wants to refill your tank. He wants you to relax, take time for yourself, and enjoy your life.

Several months after my granddaughters moved in, I quit my job and my volunteer work. Keeping up with a two- and a three-year-old zapped all of my energy. Raising little ones after your children are grown takes a major adjustment. Trust me, it ain’t easy!

About a year after the girls moved in, I took a part time job at my favorite gift store, Vanda’s. I loved the owner and had been a regular patron there for years. Vanda’s provided me the opportunity to work in an environment full of pretty things, gourmet chocolates, and divine fragrances. (It was girly heaven!) It also provided an outlet to have a breather a few hours a week. Don’t get me wrong, I loved my granddaughters but I also craved adult conversation and interaction apart from The Wiggles and Sesame Street.

2.       God has supplied your GPS: the Bible. In it, He promises you were created for a purpose (Jeremiah 29:11). He instilled each of us with desires and aspirations. Jesus cares. Your passions matter to Him.

There were lots of days I wondered if I’d ever have a “life” again. After all, I’d raised my own children, and now my grandchildren, too. About a year after I started working at the gift shop I accepted a part-time job (that later evolved into a full-time position) working in children’s ministry at the church I attended at the time.

Next, I began pursuing a passion of mine I’d had since the 5^th grade. Writing. I joined a local writer’s critique group, Word Weavers International, and began writing articles, short stories, and even started this blog.

3.       Detours are inevitable, but your destination is still attainable. Just like when I was a kid traveling on vacation with my parents, we’d find ourselves taking some backwoods detour, yet we’d always arrive at our destination. A little later than expected, but we’d eventually get there.

Sometimes detours are meant to get our attention.

For instance, look at Saul’s life on the road to Damascus. (Acts 9)

God knows where each of our paths will ultimately lead. Your detour could be God’s divine way of protecting and redirecting you down a better path.


Photo courtesy of foreveryyoungadult.com

Get your fire back. It's not over until God says it's over. Start believing again. Start dreaming again. Start pursuing what God has put in your heart.  -Dr. Farrah Gray

 

How about you...

 

Has your life taken a recent detour?

 

Does your life feel on hold, or your plans delayed?

 

I want to hear from you.

To learn more about my adventures of raising my two granddaughters, scroll down and continue reading previous posts. 

Be sure and leave me a comment! I want to know what's on your mind. 
-Beth

P.S. If you liked this post, please be sure to click on the Top Mommy Approved Blogs icon at the top right of this page.


 

 

 

 

An Interrupted Life

 

Interruptions.

They can throw a monkey wrench into a carefully thought-out plan.

 

They can be a nuisance and downright irritating at times.  

They’re never convenient. They come without warning. But one thing’s for sure, those bothersome hiccups will occur throughout the course of any given day.

Interruptions occur in many forms.

 

Pic courtesy of The Chief Alliance

Mom’s can especially relate. For instance, when you’re on the phone with the repair guy and little Billy loudly clamors for your attention, “Mommy! Mommy! Mommy! I saw a bug!”

Another example, when your boss summons the staff to a spur-of-the-moment meeting and needs that report you’ve been working on – ASAP! 

An interruption can be a crisis.

 

 

Two years ago my husband, Tom, was admitted to the hospital. Unknown to him, he was a walking time-bomb. He was treated for extremely high blood pressure, atrial fibrillation (A-Fib), a blood clot behind his heart, and major artery blockages that required a couple of heart cauterizations and two stints. Thank God, he has since recovered beautifully and leads an active life; but his little interruption certainly gave us a big unexpected scare. (Read more of Tom's little interruption here.)

An interruption can be an opportunity.

 

Hurricane Sandy -- Pic courtesy of United States Adjusters

 

Hurricane Sandy was the deadliest and most destructive hurricane of the 2012 Atlantic hurricane season, as well as the second-costliest hurricane in United States history. It killed 117 people in the U.S. Although it was a horrific tragedy, it was also an opportunity as scores of churches, relief organizations, and people from all walks of life, rallied their support.  

An interruption can be a divine intervention.



Pic Courtesy of Free Bible Images

 

You know that kid in the Bible with the fancy coat whose brothers hated him and sold him as a slave? Well, Joseph’s life was one eventful interruption after another.

Joseph was:

• Cast into a pit
• Sold as a slave
• Falsely accused
• Thrown into jail

 It certainly wasn't God's desire to see him thrown into a pit and sold as a slave, but God used Joseph's series of cruel interruptions to save an entire nation from famine. It also accompanied a beautiful reconciliation between a lost brother and his estranged family.

 ⁴ Joseph said to his brothers, “I am your brother Joseph, whom you sold into Egypt. 5 But do not be troubled or angry with yourselves because you sold me here. For God sent me before you to save your life. ⁶ For the land has been without food these two years. And there are five more years without plowing or gathering. ⁷ God sent me before you to make sure that your people will keep living on the earth. Now many of you will be saved.” Genesis 45 (NLV)

An interruption can be a blessing.

 

Pic courtesy of timemanagementninja.com

 

 

I know lots of grandparents.

 

Many recently retired. Planned and saved for years. And looked forward to traveling and enjoying their golden years together.

Then, the detour occurred. It altered their life's' course. It also altered the course of their grandchildren’s lives.

When grandparents take in their grandchildren they are often intervening in a bad situation.

These folks are unsung heroes in my book.
 

If you’re a grandparent selflessly raising your grandchildren, know this: your life has only taken a detour. You’ve not reached a dead end. This may not be the road you envisioned taking at this point in your life, but like Joseph, God had a plan in the midst of it all.

Instead of being frustrated, view interruptions as opportunities to be a blessing.

How was your day?

I'm sure you experienced interruptions. Perhaps the phone rang while you were washing the dishes. Or, a friend stopped by for an impromptu visit.

I want to hear from you. Did God use you to encourage or bless someone today?



 

5 Tips How Caregivers Can Make Positive Memories



Children are a gift from the Lord (Psalm 127:3-5).

 

In Titus 2:4, the Greek word philoteknos appears in reference to mothers loving their children. The idea that flows out of this word is that of caring for our children, or grandchildren, nurturing them, affectionately embracing them, meeting their needs, and tenderly befriending each one as a unique gift from the hand of God.

My Grandma Loflin in front of her little home tucked in the woods.

I have lots of fond memories growing up in the South. But among my favorite would be our annual family reunion each summer. My father’s family, who mainly lived in or around Salisbury, North Carolina, would gather at my grandmother’s tiny bungalow, nestled in the woods a couple of miles from Carolina Beach. I adored my cousins as we were all about the same age. During the day we’d caravan to the beach, ride the waves on canvas rafts, and build sandcastles decorated with seashells. In the evenings underneath a canopy of pine trees in Grandma’s front yard, as the crickets chirped shrilly in the July heat, with sun-kissed faces, we’d sit on rickety picnic tables and feast on watermelon slices and homemade fried chicken.

As caregivers to our grandchildren, we need to be intentional about creating positive memories. Here are a few tips how you can create loving memories that will last a lifetime:

  

1.       Make holidays special. Start new traditions or keep the old, but make them fun and memorable. For example, on the 4^th of July every year, we enjoy a family picnic then head downtown for a spectacular fireworks display. The girls look forward to this every summer.   

 

      2.       Meaningful Vacations. Our granddaughters enjoy going to Myrtle Beach, South Carolina, and staying at a favorite resort complete with a lazy river. No doubt, vacations can be expensive; however, most hotels and resorts offer significant discounts for AARP and AAA members. On the other hand, if an out-of-town vacation is not in the budget, check out the web for inexpensive or free things to do in your area. Whatever you do, make it fun!


3.       Schedule one-on-one dates. We do this frequently. Bella often chooses fishing with Grandpa (her favorite thing in the whole world).  After a long day on the water, they’ll usually stop at a favorite hotdog joint on the way home. Grace, however, enjoys the horse and buggy tour of historic downtown Wilmington. Afterward, we’ll stop at Kelwin's for a double scoop of Praline ice cream. Children need to know they're important. One-on-one time makes them feel special, and that you care.

 

Photo courtesy of Bits of Everything

4.         Making Crafts is a great way to sharpen fine motor skills. Craft making is also a fun way to bond, a great pastime, and a tactile--non-electronic source of entertainment for children! Crafting builds self-esteem and develops higher thinking skills. And best of all, the end result provides a wonderful sense of accomplishment. Looking for craft ideas? Go online and check out Pinterest, there you'll be sure to find a plethora of ideas. You can also create and categorize your own unique boards.

Grace at the Fort Fisher Aquarium.

 5.      Visit an aquarium. Aquariums offer a great opportunity for visitors to explore marine life. They are scattered all over the U.S., not just in coastal communities.  For example, North Carolina offers 4 incredible aquariums. So far, we've visited three of them! The Fort Fisher Aquarium is  closest and most accessible to us. Recently, Grace and I took a trip there and enjoyed viewing live sea creatures from an albino alligator to tiny neon jellyfish. Grace especially enjoyed eating at the outdoor SharkBites snack bar and shopping at the aquarium's large gift shop. Admission is $8.98 for kids 12 and under, $10.95 for ages 13-61, and $9.95 for ages 62 and above. The self-guided tour takes about two hours. Very economical, educational, and exciting for all ages!
 

   
I want to hear from you!

 

How do you create positive memories with your loved ones? Do you have a favorite memory? Please share your thoughts and comments below.

-Beth

P.S. Be sure and take plenty of pictures during your experiences. Later you and your loved ones can create a scrapbook (another great craft idea!) as a treasured keepsake for years to come.  
 

 

The Importance of Caregivers Cultivating Friendships

“The next best thing to being wise oneself is to live in a circle of those who are.”

C.S. Lewis

I have fond memories of sitting in a circle with fellow Girl Scouts singing, “Make new friends but keep the old, one is silver and the other gold.”

That couldn’t ring truer today.

 



Decades later, I consider my friends like jewels in a crown, valuable.

“Two are better than one” the book of Ecclesiastes teaches, “for if they fall, the one will pick the other up; but woe to the one that is alone.”

Women regard their friendships as a necessary part of life and wouldn’t trade a good friend in for a million bucks.

For full-time caregivers, cultivating friendships can be challenging.

However, I’ve learned a couple of secrets to maintaining friendships while caring for my grandchildren.

Be intentional.

In the midst of work, packing lunches, taxing my granddaughters to and from school and various activities, weeks can pass by before I realize I haven’t connected with anyone older than 12. In order to cultivate friendships, I’ve learned I have to be intentional.

How do I do this with my crazy life?

 

Often times I’ll meet a friend at Starbucks after dropping the girls off to school. Even if we only have  time for a quick cup of coffee and a few minutes to catch up, it’s precious few minutes well-spent.

Other times, my super-hero hubby, Tom, will volunteer to entertain the girls while I meet a friend for a lunch or dinner date.

I also love the arts, museums, and a good outdoor concert. My daughter, Tish, will often volunteer to keep her nieces on a Friday night while I attend an event with friends.

If finding a babysitter is an obstacle, contact a trusted teen from your church.

It’s important that we find time to break away from our normal routines, and cultivate friendships. It’s healthy and necessary to make those connections on a regular basis.

There’re lots of times when I don’t have time to meet face-to-face. That’s when texting comes in handy; even if it’s a simple, “thinking of you today” text, I'm making that connection.

Proverbs 17:17 A friend loves at all times.

 

Connecting with childhood friends, Becky, Maureen, and Pam. I'm on the left behind Becky.

My best friend of all is Jesus, James 4:8 says, “Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you.” Jesus is the one friend who will never let you down or forsake you.

Is Jesus your best friend?

If not, here’s a simple prayer inviting him to not only be your best friend, but your Lord and Savior as well:

Dear God in heaven, I come to you in the name of Jesus. I acknowledge to You that I am a sinner, and I am sorry for my sins and the life that I have lived; I need your forgiveness.

I believe that your only begotten Son Jesus Christ shed His precious blood on the cross at Calvary and died for my sins, and I am now willing to turn from my sin.

You said in Your Holy Word, Romans 10:9 that if we confess the Lord our God and believe in our hearts that God raised Jesus from the dead, we shall be saved.

Right now I confess Jesus as the Lord of my soul. With my heart, I believe that God raised Jesus from the dead. This very moment I accept Jesus Christ as my own personal Savior and according to His Word, right now I am saved.

Thank you, Jesus, for your unlimited grace which has saved me from my sins. I thank you Jesus that your grace never leads to license, but rather it always leads to repentance. Therefore, Lord Jesus, transform my life so that I may bring glory and honor to you alone and not to myself.

Thank you, Jesus, for dying for me and giving me eternal life.
Amen.

 

Unplug The Kids This Summer

 

Growing up, I loved the long, lazy days of summer.

It meant the county bookmobile would arrive each Wednesday in front of my house, virtually delivering books to my front door. Books provided a great form of escape from summer boredom. Books opened up new worlds and places to me, and introduced characters I never would have imagined on my own.

Summers were also spent balancing barefoot on a fallen log while crossing the wide creek behind my house to a place of endless adventure: the woods.

Summertime was visits to Johnny Mercer's Pier and renting a red raft for fifty cents to ride the waves at Wrightsville Beach.

It meant catching fireflies under a starry sky.



Summer was time spent with friends plucking blackberries and dodging sandspurs from the large ditch beside the corner Methodist Church.

The long days of summer also allowed my mind to dream and my soul to still itself.

This was before modern technology.

I worry about our kids today and the isolative consequences of technology. I worry about stifled dreams and cluttered minds.

In this media-driven culture where young people always seem to be plugged into some sort of technology, whether it's a tablet, cellphone, laptop, TV, whatever the device, summertime should be a time where kids unplug and be a kid for a change!

Here are a few tips on how we limit technology and keep our granddaughters reading and physically active during the summer months.

1. To earn technology, i.e., TV, tablet, computer, video games, it requires one hour of reading each day to earn one hour of technology. No reading. No technology.
2. A reading journal has to be kept along with a one page summary of each book read.
3. Also, by keeping a Bible journal and following a daily reading plan just for kids, will help instill healthy devotional habits for a lifetime.
4. Whether it's swimming, riding bikes, fishing at the lake, or playing a friendly game of soccer with friends, our granddaughters must find ways to enjoy and explore the great outdoors.
5. Crafts are also a great creative outlet. Kids enjoy the creative process and sense of accomplishment. Grace and Bella are making paracord bracelets this summer. They hope to sell them at a local craft fair.

It's important to balance technology. By balancing technology (I promise it won't kill them!), kids will become more creative and learn to connect face-to-face, thus cultivating healthy relationships.

Looking for things to do this summer with the kids? Google "fun things to do" in your area. You'll be amazed at all the fun and exciting things your community has to offer. Movie theaters often offer kids specials during the summer. Local museums and aquariums are great resources as well.

Unplug this summer. Read and explore your world instead. Who knows what you may discover!



What about you? What suggestions do you have to get kids unplugged, motivated, and connected with the real world this summer?

-Beth

Modesty: A Lesson From the 70's

“In like manner also, that the women adorn themselves in modest apparel.”  1 Timothy 2:9-10

 

Modesty.

It was a word I’d heard over and over again as a teenager growing up in the 70’s. I doubt however, if most teenage girls today know its meaning.

The Greek word for modest is Kosmios, meaning orderly, well-arranged, decent, modest, harmonious arrangement, or adornment. Modesty is also Biblically applied to one's demeanor or behavior. This same Greek word is translated good behavior.

During the 70’s, halter tops (backless shirts); hot pants (now called “booty” shorts); happy legs (wide leg pants); hip huggers (low rise pants); and miniskirts (skirts way above the knee); were not only in trend, but were the antithesis of modesty. The 70’s was a time of rebellion: people protested the Vietnam War, women burned their bras, and prayer was removed from schools, among other things.



As a 70's teen, I wanted to dress in vogue, just like my contemporaries. Yet, despite the anything goes attitude of the culture, Mother’s mantra, “girls should always dress modestly,” never wavered.

For example, tops that didn’t require wearing a bra were forbidden. Miniskirts were okay as long as they weren’t super mini. And, well – short shorts were plain out of the question.

I was a willful child and would often test my boundaries, especially when it came to fashion.

 

One example of my obstinacy was on my 15^th birthday. Thanks to the generosity of my grandparents, I was loaded. I had $20 burning a hole in my leather fringed purse. Sears and Roebuck was within walking distance from home; and that’s where I bought my very first (and last) halter top. It was a soft pink color that I thought accentuated my summer tan. And when I wore it for the first time (and last in front of my mother), she almost fainted. “That shirt has no back! Boys will get the wrong impression. And, for Pete’s sake, Beth, show a little modesty!”



Although I hated Mother’s rules back then and thought her to be prudish, today I’m extremely grateful for her determination to raise me fashionable but modestly.



Sadly, this millennium culture makes the 70’s look prudish. In a world where young girls are sexually preyed upon and sold into sex trafficking, it’s more important now than ever before to teach our daughters and granddaughters to dress modestly and not provocatively.

As a grandparent helping to raise my two granddaughters, Grace 12, and Bella 10, I want to teach them Kosmios, modesty, to respect and value their bodies.

God bought you with a high price; therefore, you must honor God with your bodies. 1 Corinthians 6:20

When young girls wear revealing clothes, exposing lots of skin, it conveys a message and solicits a response; whether they realize it or not.

If we don’t establish boundaries and instill a sense of self-worth into our daughters and granddaughters, this world will certainly cheapen their value.

Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God--this is your true and proper worship. Romans 12:1

 

I'd like to hear your suggestions. How are you teaching your daughters or granddaughters to value their bodies?  What do you think of todays' fashions for young girls-- too revealing?