5 Tips How Caregivers Can Make Positive Memories



Children are a gift from the Lord (Psalm 127:3-5).

 

In Titus 2:4, the Greek word philoteknos appears in reference to mothers loving their children. The idea that flows out of this word is that of caring for our children, or grandchildren, nurturing them, affectionately embracing them, meeting their needs, and tenderly befriending each one as a unique gift from the hand of God.

My Grandma Loflin in front of her little home tucked in the woods.

I have lots of fond memories growing up in the South. But among my favorite would be our annual family reunion each summer. My father’s family, who mainly lived in or around Salisbury, North Carolina, would gather at my grandmother’s tiny bungalow, nestled in the woods a couple of miles from Carolina Beach. I adored my cousins as we were all about the same age. During the day we’d caravan to the beach, ride the waves on canvas rafts, and build sandcastles decorated with seashells. In the evenings underneath a canopy of pine trees in Grandma’s front yard, as the crickets chirped shrilly in the July heat, with sun-kissed faces, we’d sit on rickety picnic tables and feast on watermelon slices and homemade fried chicken.

As caregivers to our grandchildren, we need to be intentional about creating positive memories. Here are a few tips how you can create loving memories that will last a lifetime:

  

1.       Make holidays special. Start new traditions or keep the old, but make them fun and memorable. For example, on the 4^th of July every year, we enjoy a family picnic then head downtown for a spectacular fireworks display. The girls look forward to this every summer.   

 

      2.       Meaningful Vacations. Our granddaughters enjoy going to Myrtle Beach, South Carolina, and staying at a favorite resort complete with a lazy river. No doubt, vacations can be expensive; however, most hotels and resorts offer significant discounts for AARP and AAA members. On the other hand, if an out-of-town vacation is not in the budget, check out the web for inexpensive or free things to do in your area. Whatever you do, make it fun!


3.       Schedule one-on-one dates. We do this frequently. Bella often chooses fishing with Grandpa (her favorite thing in the whole world).  After a long day on the water, they’ll usually stop at a favorite hotdog joint on the way home. Grace, however, enjoys the horse and buggy tour of historic downtown Wilmington. Afterward, we’ll stop at Kelwin's for a double scoop of Praline ice cream. Children need to know they're important. One-on-one time makes them feel special, and that you care.

 

Photo courtesy of Bits of Everything

4.         Making Crafts is a great way to sharpen fine motor skills. Craft making is also a fun way to bond, a great pastime, and a tactile--non-electronic source of entertainment for children! Crafting builds self-esteem and develops higher thinking skills. And best of all, the end result provides a wonderful sense of accomplishment. Looking for craft ideas? Go online and check out Pinterest, there you'll be sure to find a plethora of ideas. You can also create and categorize your own unique boards.

Grace at the Fort Fisher Aquarium.

 5.      Visit an aquarium. Aquariums offer a great opportunity for visitors to explore marine life. They are scattered all over the U.S., not just in coastal communities.  For example, North Carolina offers 4 incredible aquariums. So far, we've visited three of them! The Fort Fisher Aquarium is  closest and most accessible to us. Recently, Grace and I took a trip there and enjoyed viewing live sea creatures from an albino alligator to tiny neon jellyfish. Grace especially enjoyed eating at the outdoor SharkBites snack bar and shopping at the aquarium's large gift shop. Admission is $8.98 for kids 12 and under, $10.95 for ages 13-61, and $9.95 for ages 62 and above. The self-guided tour takes about two hours. Very economical, educational, and exciting for all ages!
 

   
I want to hear from you!

 

How do you create positive memories with your loved ones? Do you have a favorite memory? Please share your thoughts and comments below.

-Beth

P.S. Be sure and take plenty of pictures during your experiences. Later you and your loved ones can create a scrapbook (another great craft idea!) as a treasured keepsake for years to come.  
 

 

Spoiler Alert!

When a grandchild is born, so is a Grandparent.

“Adrianna, are you really going to let them do that,” Tish says to me sarcastically.
 

Okay, my name is Beth, not Adrianna.  Adrianna is the daughter of a former neighbor of ours. Her grandparents had raised her since birth.  My earliest memory of Adrianna’s outrageous behavior is when I ran into them at the mall and witnessed the biggest temper tantrum I’d ever seen from a nine-year-old. She was throwing a hissy-fit over a pair of earrings. Out of sheer embarrassment, Ella, the grandmother, finally caved in and bought them for her.

 

Photo courtesy of ehattons.com

 

Years later when Adrianna turned sweet 16, Ella and grandpa, Frank, bought her a brand new red, BMW convertible. I was aghast, mainly because Ella and Frank were retired and lived on a limited income. But when it came to Adrianna, there simply were no limits.

 

Predictably, Adrianna had multiple fender-benders and speeding tickets, until a judge finally revoked her driver’s license for two years.

I shouldn’t have been surprised at the outlandish gift she received upon graduating high school, either. No fancy car this time. No sir, only the best for Adrianna; she got a boob-job instead. Yes, a complete set of enormous breasts.  

What is she planning on doing with those things? I remember thinking.

The answer came the end of that summer when she became a dancer and was using them for… well, you know.

My daughter, Tish, AKA: Aunt Kiki, my voice of reason at times, calls me Adrianna when I step out of Mommy Mode and into the proverbial spoil ‘em rotten Grandma Mode. A gentle reminder of the repercussions of overindulgence.

 

A grandparent's love is something I can only describe as extravagant. But extravagant love doesn't have to be demonstrated in massive amounts of sugar and material things.

For grandparents functioning in dual roles as grandparent and parent, we are raising children to become positive contributors to society, not freeloaders.

Here are some ideas to help keep you grounded. In the meantime, remember what love really means: TIME.

Three Tips to Spoil Right, Not Rotten

1. Spend Time Instead of Dollars
 

Grace & Bella fishing at the lake



Outdoor activities like fishing, camping, hiking, or even a trip to the zoo and a day at the park, are lots of fun and healthy, too.

2. Be Creative: Crafty

 

Drawing by Grace




 

Grandparents have the wonderful opportunity to pass on their talents such as drawing, painting, sewing, baking, woodworking, playing an instrument, etc., to their grandchildren. (Pinterest is also a great way to find creative ideas.)

 

Spur-of-the-Moment Fun





OK, as grandparents we’re allowed to spoil, but just a bit. An occasional triple scoop of ice cream or a trip to the mall can make a day fun and memorable.


Are you spoiling right or, are you spoiling rotten?

Share your ideas of how you spoil right, not rotten.


-Beth